Don’t Hit the Bar after Hip Replacement

When I was younger, I used to pretend I was a receptionist in a medical office.  Mom fixed up my play telephone so it had two lines and a hold button.  (These were really just thumb tacks, but I had a great imagination.)  It was so much fun putting people on hold, taking messages and scheduling appointments.  But that’s the extent of my medical career.  I can be as nurturing as the next person.  I think I’m a pretty good mom as long as the kids aren’t bleeding.  Or throwing up.  Or…Ok, as long as nothing is oozing from their bodies.  Then it’s Mike’s job to be the nurturing parent.  I’ll just hold their hands with my eyes closed until they’re patched up.

You can imagine my extreme discomfort, then, when I’m around people I don’t love and care about and they’re oozing fluids.  It’s just really gross, and when it’s in a restaurant…Well, it kind of puts me off my food.  Here’s the story (and if you’re like me and you don’t enjoy grossness, skip down to the next picture.)

Mike & I have a little local restaurant we frequent almost every week called “Piccadilly’s.”  It’s a lot like an English pub, or “Cheers,” maybe.  There’s a large bar area, but also a dining area.  The food is wonderful – the homemade soup is the best in town, the pork chops are delicious and their appetizers, while not really healthy, are yummy.  And that’s why we go there.  On Friday and Saturday afternoons, appetizers are half price, so we go for “dinner on the cheap.”  We even have our own little table where we always sit.  It’s between the bar and the kitchen, so we can catch all our favorite employees and say hi.

Yesterday, though, all the free tables, including our table, had “Reserved” signs on them.  Apparently, they were having a band later, and since it was raining, people had called in and reserved tables inside.  Well.  After looking around, we opted for the “elbow bar,” more of a long counter top with chairs.  It’s separate from the bar, but close to it.  As we munched our apps – Mike had onion scoops, I had a flatbread pizza – we noticed a group of people at the end of the bar.  Three had glasses of beer (drafts are $2 during weekend happy hour) and one – an older lady – had water.  She didn’t look good.  At all.  And she looked even worse when one of the men and the younger lady grabbed her under the arms and kind of dragged her off her bar stool.  And then they asked the bartender for a trash can.  This is never good in a restaurant.  Or anywhere, really, but especially in a restaurant.

I assumed they were taking her to the car so she could get home and get some rest.  Or medical treatment.   Oh, no…they took her to one of the reserved booths.  And laid her on the seat.  REALLY?????  The woman was obviously in distress and could barely move.  They left her on the bench with the trash can and went back to their $2. drafts, occasionally looking over to be sure she hadn’t rolled off the seat.  (“Hey, Grannie!!  How ya doin’?  Soon as I finish my beer, I’ll be over to help take you to the car, OK?”)  This is when I asked our server for a box for the rest of my pizza.  Mike, however, who was facing the whole dramatic scene, happily munched his onion scoops while giving me updates on the lady’s condition.  “She’s still just lying there.  Oh, wait, she’s sitting up…She’s going for the trash can….”  Then he offered me one of his onion scoops.  I offered him a black look.

Soon there was a flurry of activity from the bar.  Beer glasses were drained and two of the family members rushed to the lady’s side.  And then the retching began.  Mike offered me another onion scoop.  Employees rushed over.  The bartender quietly asked another employee, “What are we supposed to do with the trash can now?”  (I’m thinking, “Throw it away and buy a new one!!!!  Or call the HazMat team.”)  Our server had his own personal view on the subject:  “They probably left her there so she’d get everything out of her system before she got in the car.  I wouldn’t want anyone throwing up in my car.”  (Typical 18 year old guy, right?)

Finally things calmed down, the lady got taken out and the floor got mopped up.  Apparently, she had hip replacement surgery 8 weeks ago and was having some sort of reaction.  I’m thinking maybe she shouldn’t have been dragged to a bar that soon after surgery.  But what do I know?  Ironically, our usual table was still empty when we left, and we found out the people who reserved it weren’t coming until 8 p.m.  We arrived, ordered, ate, survived the drama and were out the door by 6:30.  I think we could have poached our table!

So how do I tie this in to today’s project?  Well…if you ever have hip replacement surgery and get dragged to a restaurant before you’re fully recovered and have a sad reaction, maybe these will come in handy.

Click on photo to view larger image.

Click on photo to view larger image. (Model: Stephee Rack)

I wanted to make a few barrettes with our designer fabric.  The blue one is the new Beau Château fabric, and I used the Scallop Circles #2 die to cut it out.  The floral ones are the Springtime Vintage fabric.  The buttons are retired, but the brad (on the floral barrette in the back) is one of the antique ones.  They’re so gorgeous!  The Springtime Vintage barrettes were cut from the Fun Flowers die, and I just stacked them, then put a few stitches in them to hold them together.  I glued the button/brad to the flower and stuck them to the barrette with Crystal Effects.  And that was it!  We’ll be making these at Rhonda’s tomorrow, and I’m really excited.  I think they’ll enjoy them.  This fabric and more is in the 2011-12 Idea Book & Catalog, and more will be coming out next month in the Holiday Mini!

That’s it for today.  I made some other projects that I’m really excited about, but they’re for a blog hop I’m doing later this month (or next…not sure of the exact dates, but I’ll let you know!), so I need to keep them secret.

Have a wonderful day, and thanks for stopping by!